My children are daredevils.
No, really.
Okay, so they’re not fearless, but they definitely like to try things out. “Things” sometimes mean doing something that causes my heart to stop beating for just a second, though. But for the most part, they just tend to dive into any adventure. This pleases me greatly.
Here’s where my concern lies: Bear is almost four, and he has great balance, speed, and agility. Beauty, however, is almost three and has the speed down-pat, but lacks both balance and agility. This is chiefly due to the fact that she is a toe walker at all times. She is currently enrolled in an occupational therapy program that seems to help out a little bit, but she naturally gravitates toward walking on her toes. Aside from the fact that it concerns me about her foot and leg muscles (and that’s just the start), her toe-walking issues as it relates to her developmental well-being is not the topic of this blog. Today, my focus is on shadowing and independence.
Beauty and Bear are pretty crazy about each other. I love watching them interact; I love how Beauty can’t even take a nap without first hugging Bear, and Bear proclaims at least once a day that Beauty is his “best ever friend.” I love how they try to look out for one another at all times. I love that Beauty wants to do everything her big brother does. But herein lies a small problem.
We went to an indoor play area recently, and there was equipment for the toddler group and another for the preschool set (although there were no imposed age limits for either–one just had the “tot lot” feel while the other was more like a playground you’d find in a regular park). Beauty turned up her nose at the toddler area, preferring to follow Bear’s lead while we (my husband and I) watched from the sidelines.
Bear is a try-anything-once kind of kid (well, except where food is concerned). He loves to climb, jump, skip, run, go down slides, cross bridges–you name it–at lightning speed. Naturally, he took off immediately and then completely forgot we were even there. When Beauty went to follow him, my husband shadowed her a bit knowing that running on her toes proves difficult for both agility and balance (although it doesn’t really slow her down). The problem is that while Beauty wanted to shadow Bear, she did not want my husband nearby. The other problem? Playing on playground equipment made for any age while walking on her toes is (not surprisingly) a little difficult. She tends to fall easily, and has a hard time maintaining her center of gravity.
So what to do? Be the parents that let their little girl fall time and time again, or intervene and constantly redirect her to the tot lot where the pace is a little slower and the playground equipment is a little less complicated?
Well, we do both. One of us tends to hover so as to reduce the instances of falling if we can. She knows the certain areas of all playground equipment where she’s not allowed to play (i.e., the monkey bars or on mostly anything that’s a bit too high up), and usually sticks by it. Does she still fall at times? You bet. But she’s getting to be quite proficient in brushing herself off and getting back in the game. However, we sometimes do redirect her to the smaller stuff, even if it means she has to leave Bear’s side for a few and do her own thing. She’s hesitant at first, but once she gets there, she relishes her independence. At least for a minute or two until she realizes Bear isn’t there.
I know there will someday come a time when Bear and Beauty don’t want to play together; for now, we try to encourage it as much as we can while focusing on building Beauty’s independence.
Photo Credit: 2009. Courtney O.
